Going, Going...

It's hard watching someone you love slip away a day at a time, but that is our reality for now. Mom woke up today and I was already in the front room. I could tell right away that she was confused. She says that the people who lived in this house are gone.  They just left....went down south somewhere.  She said that Dad came first and she followed after school was out.  I asked her what city she was in and she said she didn't know.  She just knows she is here.  She said she doesn't know anyone here...just her family and mentioned Dort.  She said she hasn't seen Perry in awhile and she wonders if he died and no one told her. 

She said she misses home.  I asked her where home is and she said Nebraska.

She said Dad never sleeps this late several times.  She is dressed with a housecoat on over her clothes. She says she is cold. Last night she was wanting to sweep the kitchen and said, "I don't know where she keeps her broom." like this isn't her house.

I looked up a Mini Mental Exam on the net and asked her to answer the following questions:

Do you know what date it is?  Mom:In the 20's?

How about the month?   Mom: June?

Do you know what year it is? Mom: No, not really.  I'd have to think about it.

When dad questions you, does it confuse you? Mom: No, not really.

Do you know what season it is? Mom: It is getting along like September?

No, I mean winter, spring, summer or fall?   Mom: well it's summer but fall.  It's cooler here than it is up home.  It's like winter.

What hospital do you go to when you are here? Oh, I've never been to a hospital here.

I'm cooking for my folks this week. Dad doesn't cook and Mom no longer has that ability so they pretty much eat out twice a day. Nutrition is the key to a lot of their health issues and the way I figure it, if I can feed them right this week, it's the least I can do since I can't take care of them on a full time basis.  I absolutely love this old blender of my Mom's. It's true. They don't make them like they used to! The motor is much quieter than the one I have at homel

For years, my mother made my father what he calls "Breakfast Food". I call it Kate's granola. Of course, I've had to modify her recipe over the years since she put wheat germ and whole brand cereal in her granola (totally not needed by the way). Currently, my father eats Frosted Flakes every morning for breakfast.  I made granola so at least he would get some good organic nutrition while I am here. My father is having memory issues as well and I just can't get him to understand the correlation between memory and nutrition. My mother is at the point where she will eat anything I put in front of her. My father, on the other hand,  questions everything I say so I have to look it up on my iPad and show it to him in writing. 

For supper I made pork chops, brussel sprouts, sweet potato soup with a dollop of cranberry sauce and Cranberry Orange bread. My mom set the table. Guess you can never have enough spoons to suit you, right?

Since we got interrupted this morning, I finished my mother's Mini Mental Exam this afternoon:

What is today's date?   Mom:I don't remember.

What year is it?  Mom: Umm, 19... I don't know.

Where is your home? Mom:  Nebraska

When did you move there? Mom: I was raised there.

Did you always live there? Mom: No, I followed Curt from place to place...sometimes he went first and I came later.

Where did you go when Dad retired? Mom: Nebraska

Say these three words: ball, flag, tree.  She said ball trag flee

I asked her to count backwards from 100 by 7's.  She couldn't do it.

I asked her to count backwards by ones.  She made it to 94 but couldn't go any further.

I asked her to count backwards by 5's and she said 100...95,,,but couldn't go any farther.

Spell WORLD backwards. She said D-L-O-W

I asked her to recall the 3 words we said earlier (ball-flag-tree) and she couldn't do it.

I asked her where I went to college and she said McCook?

I asked her how many kids I had and she said 5?

I told her I only had 4 and asked her to name them.

Who is my first child. She said Ben.

Who is my second child.  She couldn't recall his name.  She said I can see him in my mind but I can't remember him. This was after we talked to Curt on the phone not even an hour before.

When I told her he was named after Dad, then she remembered he was Curt.

She then said did you have 5 or 4.  I said 4. Then I said, OK who is next? She totally skipped over Joe and said, "I can see her but I can't repeat it."

I stepped over to the pictures on the wall to see if she could name everyone by looking at the pictures. She knew Ben and could name him. She couldn't remember Curt's name but she said "I've always liked him though."

She didn't know Joe at all.  I pointed to Emilie and she said "This is your daughter and son-in-law, but I can't remember their names. She then said she couldn't expect to remember their names because she doesn't get to see them very much. She said you can't expect someone to remember them when you only see them once every 5 years.

I pointed to AM and she knew her but she couldn't remember Brian or Madison. I guess that means she hasn't seen them in 5 years either.

Then she said that Dad probably couldn't name everyone either.  He did pretty good but thought Julie's name was June. He couldn't name Curt's kids or Ben's kids, but he knew everyone in Joe's picture.

While I was making supper, she busied herself with setting the table.  She was trying to set the table for my 3 boys.  I told her it would just be us, but when it came time to sit at the table, she went in and told my dad to get marlin. We explained that he wasn't here, but she was confused. She wanted to know if he was sick and staying in bed instead of coming to supper.

After dinner, we went in to watch TV.  She was looking around the room like she was searching for something.  I asked her what she was looking at and she said she has a room just like this at her house. She said some of the things here were hers, but not everything. She pointed to the side table and said that was hers.  She became obsessed about not having her shoes on so she went looking through the house until she found a pair of shoes and put them on. I asked her why she had to have her shoes on. She said so she could walk home because it was nearly time for bed and she was tired.  I said, "Mom, we're staying here tonight. This is your house." 

 She said' " Well I'll have to sleep in the nude then because I didn't bring anything with me". I went to bed first, but I could hear my folks having a conversation when they went to bed and Dad was trying to explain to her that she was sleeping here because this is her house.

It's funny how the brain works.  She definitely knows me and she gets on quite well.  She just can't comprehend the present. Dad said she is obsessed with Nebraska lately and her sisters. It's like her brain is mis-firing.  One minute she is fine and the next minute, she picks something up and says "Is this yours?" concerning something that has been hers for 20 years or more.

Tomorrow we meet with the estate planner. Who knows what kinds of stories we will have tomorrow!