This is my Momma, the woman who gave me life against all odds back in 1956. After my sister was born (1953), my momma was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was in her cerebellum and was able to be removed, but my momma had to learn how to walk, and talk, and write, and do so many of the things that we take for granted. My momma told me once that the doctors told her that her hair would probably never grow back and that having any more children would just be too hard on her. It was in the 50's at the time so brain surgery wasn't perfected by any means. My momma defied the odds and went ahead and got pregnant and gave birth to me 2 years after her brain surgery. My Grandma Brunner used to tell me that my Momma had me because she missed out on all the important milestones of my sisters infancy... her first words, her first steps and so on... because she was in the hospital for several months for the surgery and rehab. Nevertheless, God was good and he has given her 80 years of additional life. The last few years have shown some struggles with my momma's health, and her memory is starting to deteriorate. I think traveling confuses her. I always knew that the trip back here for Emilie's wedding would more than likely be my folks last trip back to Indiana. They got here the week before the wedding and my dad insisted on leaving just a few short days after the wedding because he always has to stick to his "schedule" and they were traveling through Nebraska to see relatives on the way back to Arizona. The day this picture was taken, I was kind of mad at my dad because he wouldn't stay longer, but I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell him how I felt. I was mad because the reality is I just might not ever see my Momma again. That is the reality when you live in Indiana and your folks live in Arizona. I was raised in a military family, and went to 9 schools in 12 years. We moved quite often and I made friends easily, but my momma was, and has always been my very best friend. When I was first married and having children, I know I neglected her, and that pains my heart when I think about it. We didn't have cell phones back then, and long distance was expensive so letter writing was the best mode of communication. Before cell phones, my momma wrote me a letter every week. I would try to write and even had the kids write her letters, but I'm sure they weren't as often as they should have been. After all, I was busy with my own life, and was raising four kids, or so I told myself. But now I'm older, and I appreciate things from a different vantage point. I'm standing on the platform of the station now and I can see the end of the line...not something I could see in my 20's, that's for sure. Thank goodness for cell phones. Now, I call my momma at least every other day just to check up on her. It's frustrating having her so far from me and it makes me feel helpless that I'm not there to help more. It is clear now through a series of recent events that my folks days of driving a fifth wheel from Arizona to Indiana are over. My folks were really good about coming here every summer when my children were growing up. Now it's my turn to return the favor. I love you Momma! Christmas will be here before we know it and I plan on coming home! See you soon!
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